My Christmas Present to myself: less future angst

Tonight, I told my parents I was moving out. It shouldn’t come as that much of a shock to them, but they pretty much reacted the way I expected them to. My mother did her whole guilt, “Why can’t you be like your obedient, perfect cousin,” thing and cried, then added on more guilt. My father, though not very thrilled with the idea at first, at least listened to what I had to say and reluctantly said I should think about it more before actually moving out.

I think I’ve thought about it enough. I’ve been going back and forth with the idea for a couple of months, and finally decided that I would feel a lot better overall if I just moved out. Sure, things are great when I’m the good, perfect, daughter at home, but doing anything against the rules changes that completely and once again, I feel like I’m still in highschool. Speaking of rules, am I the only one who thinks it’s ridiculous that I’m 22 and I still have a curfew?

I’ve tried explaining the curfew thing to my parents several times in the past but they never budged. When tonight, they finally realized I’m serious about moving out, they decided to sway a little and extend my “curfew” to an hour or so later, but only a couple times a month. That pretty much explains one of my prime motivations for moving out. The fact that there’s a curfew at all. It’s not like I’m going to spend every night out until 4 in the morning if there’s no curfew, but I think they think I’ll be like that.

I could have waited to tell them I was moving until the last minute, but I didn’t want to, partly so that maybe I could make the move while still on good terms with both my parents. Unfortunately, I think because of the way things went tonight, my mother and I will probably not be on very good terms with each other, but it’s not like we were the perfect pair to begin with. Maybe it was naive of me to think that they would be at least a little happy for me to be more independent.

It occured to me that I might be acting spoiled and not taking their feelings into account. But to me, it seems unhealthy for my parents, especially my mother, to want me to stay at home so badly. I know I’m going to move out eventually. I worry that the longer I stay home, the harder it will be for me to move away. If my mother was to have her way, I would be living at home until I got married. Call me silly, but I’d like to live on my own for a while before living with yet another person.

For Christmas, my present to myself: peace of mind.