NakedSushi

I watched Twilight, the movie last weekend which prompted me to borrow books two through four from a friend because I was curious to know what happened next. I was wary about all the teenage girls and middle-aged moms going ga-gah over the book and didn’t think I could become one of them. Oh how wrong I was; I finished books two, three and four in less than a week. Maybe it’s not right to review a whole series without reading the first book of it first, but I don’t think my opinion of the series will change much after reading the first book.

The best way I can describe the The Twilight Saga is that it’s like a complete dating cycle: uncertainty, infatuation, annoyance, acceptance of differences, a civil breakup. I was unsure of the whole thing while reading New Moon; the writing was too simple and had a very young-adult vibe, yet the sexual tension between Bella and Edward kept me turning the pages. At the end of New Moon, I was hooked. I couldn’t stop thinking about the characters when I wasn’t reading it. It was like I was part of the Cullen family too.

It was even worse when I got into Eclipse, the third book. I was thinking about it constantly at work. I think I read that entire book in less than a day. The tension between Bella and Edward was driving me crazy even though I knew nothing was going to happen. Someone warned me that the books would give me unrealistic expectations of men and I scoffed at it at the time, but after reading the second book, I had such a school-girl crush on Edward. Unrealistic indeed.

By the beginning of the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, the romance I had with the series was beginning to wane. The sexual tension was broken, but in a terribly unsatisfying way. The book also started getting too preachy. In a way, I’m glad that the beginning of the fourth book was so bad. It’s easier to let go of the series when you have bad opinions about some of it than to have it end while you’re still lusting for more.

I read on the jacket of one of the books that one reviewer called the books “hypnotic” and I can’t think of a more fitting term. It’s true that the language is at a third grade reading level, but that’s what makes the books so hypnotic. It’s easy to just read page after page of suspense before realizing you spent your whole evening reading on the couch.

(Spoiler-filled review after the jump.)

The whole “no sex” thing I could deal with. It’s a book for teenagers after all and it’s kind of nice that someone is still looking out for kids and hoping that they’re not growing up too quickly. I have to admit that Edward’s super-human self-control was part of what made him so hot. It’s fun to lust after the unattainable.

What I couldn’t deal with was how unrealistic some scenes in the book were. Vampire or not, I don’t know of any teenagers who are attracted to each other, but can stand to be in the same bed night after night and just being satisfied with kissing. Self restraint is good and all, but this just seems really far-fetched.

There were also times where I would step away from the story and realize how much the books were like self indulgent fan-fiction. Most of the characters were one-dimensional and the situations were just too predictable and paid too much attention to teenage girl fantasies. Having the dashingly handsome and perfect vampire boy be in love with the main character is one thing, but then also having her best friend who also happens to be a shape-shifter also lust after her is pretty gratuitous.

Writing the book in the first person is a smart way to engage readers — especially if you want teenage girls to identify with the protagonist. I just wish they made Bella a better role model. I didn’t like the fact that she always had to be rescued and that everyone automatically just liked her. Her naivete could be enduring to some, but I found it to be annoying. She wasn’t that smart. She’s not coordinated. She just mopes around. It just wasn’t believable that everyone could be so in love with her.

The fourth book was when I started rolling my eyes at the series. The first third of the book is a heavy-handed slap in the face about the sanctity of life and all that pro-life propaganda: Bella becomes pregnant after having sex with Edward (after they get married, of course), and decides to keep the baby despite everyone telling her that it’ll kill her (it’s half-vampire, you see). While it’s decent to remind teenagers that abortion isn’t an easy decision to be made on a whim, I didn’t think that they needed to be reminded for two-hundred-something pages. I actually thought about quitting the book right then.

I’m glad I continued to read the book after that because I’m not as angry at the book as I would have been if I had stopped there. Although, I was disappointed at how a lot of the characters were acting out-of-character during the remainder of the book. Jacob imprinting on Bella’s daughter was predictable, albeit still really creepy. Charlie’s “need to know” reaction to Bella and Jacob’s secret lives were completely out of his character. He must make a crappy cop if he’s not even interested in why his daughter looks and acts so strange — he doesn’t know that she’s a vampire.

The finale was anti-climatic and predictable, but still enjoyable to read. I think if I were less cynical, if I were truly a 12 year old girl, I would have enjoyed the series a lot more. I have to admit though, the whole series did please my 12 year old inner child a lot.